These Days Are Numbered

My maternity leave is coming to an end next week,

and I find myself feeling very sentimental about 
this wonderful opportunity I got to share with my son.

I am so grateful for it.

 I know it will be good to get back to work,

but I also know it's going to be hard to say goodbye

 to these sweet days with baby Kieran.

Guinney & Kieran getting in some quality time.

He has made me such a happy Mama.

It tickles me so to hold my baby in my arms 
and see him looking up at me with those sweet blue eyes,

and let's be honest, spit up dribbling out of the corners of his mouth.

 (I am getting very used to baby spit up becoming a part of my daily wardrobe.

As you can imagine, it's incredibly glamorous.)

But all kidding aside, 

no matter how much everyone told me that I would love being a mother,

I love it more than I ever could have imagined.
I mean, it's a pretty awesome feeling knowing that sometimes
all he wants in the world is to be in my arms,
and nuzzle into my chest. 

I could melt sometimes.

I am amazed at how fast he is growing,

and am loving all the things that come along with 

him reaching new milestones.

Like actually enjoying tummy time! Yay! 

But some of my very favorite things 

about being Kieran's Mommy 

are things like:

Hearing his enthusiastic squeals when he sees something

that excites him. And his dry laugh when he's getting a 
diaper change from his Daddy who tickles his belly with his beard. 

Or the way he stomps his feet and slaps his hands 
in the water every time he gets a bath, goes in a pool 
or has a trip to the waters edge at the beach.

It's so fun witnessing his fascination for new things,
his serious stare, and focused mind.

He likes giraffes. Obvs.

And I love how he is down to just hang out and chill 

when I decide to take him on little adventures, 

like my first hike with baby last month along

 the Palos Verdes hills overlooking the ocean.

 Not too shabby for your first hike dude! 

It's so cool how sometimes when he is feeding, 

he puts his open hand flush over my heart,

and I can't help but smile in awe of how sweet that is. 

Or like when he is finished with a particularly long feeding,

how his ear is imprinted on my forearm.

I have found myself staring at it, running my fingertips over it,

secretly wishing it could stay there forever.

I love that I get to pick him up when he is tired, 
and giggle at how he tucks his feet under his bottom, 
arches his back, and sticks out his butt.

It's by far the cutest thing ever.

I love that he gives me an open-mouthed scrunched-nosed smile 

when he sees me first thing in the morning.

And I love how his lips curl down when he is sad, 

and it takes everything in me not laugh because it is so darn cute.

But my favorite, favorite moments of being Kieran's Mommy

are the quiet moments, the still moments.

When his warm head tucks perfectly under my chin,
I can feel his fine hair on my cheek,

 I can smell his perfect new baby smell,

and all I want in the world is to stay in that moment forever.

It's those simple flashes of life that permiate love 
into the deepest corners of my heart.

I know I will still get to have these moments

even after I return to work,

but I also know that my going back to work is the end 

of the very beginning. Of having a baby.
 Of being a new mom.

And that will be bittersweet.

Proud Mama!

As hard as it may be,

I'll try to focus less on the bitter,

 and more on the sweet.

XOXO

Aimee